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Forget slasher flicks. These scary stage shows will make you wish they'd turn the lights back up.

Friday Oct 03, 2008.     By Reina Hardy

Theater Feed

Are tacky haunted-houses, sad, store-bought costumes and vomit-scented parties taking all the thrill out of your October 31st? No fear. Chicago's storefront-theater scene is here to rescue your Halloween from the forces of lame. Whether you want a genuine jolt, or a comedy with extra blood, these shows will keep your weekend on-theme and out of the box.

For the sucker lovers:
Fans of the tweenyboppery fangs novel "Twilight" will have no less than four chances to get acquainted with the big daddy of vampire literature. "Dracula" is all over theaters this month:

• Purists will dig Village Players Performing Arts Center's one-woman version, in which Megan Wells, "the Kate Hepburn of storytelling," brings it all back to the words.

• The Building Stage's ultra-stylish silent-movie take (catch it before it closes on the 18th!) dispenses with words entirely.

• First Folio's Chicago premiere of the "The Passion of Dracula" adds wink-wink sexuality and plenty of jokes.

• Theatre Hike's production spreads the action out around Morton Arboretum, forcing the audience to walk off their candy between scenes.

For the splatter fanatics:
Halloween is the perfect time to honor the grand Chicago tradition of showering the audience in fake blood. The show that started it all back in '87, the Annoyance's "Splatter Theatre," brings its fresh white walls and infinitely varied death scenes to the Annoyance's bar-equipped space in Uptown.

Other plasmariffic shows include "Blood Sausage," the Cornservatory's gross-out take on "Medea," and New Millenium Theatre's "Texas Chainsaw Musical." Want to enjoy the anything-goes splatter aesthetic while keeping your shirt clean? Head back to the Annoyance for "Night Falls," a distinctly Annoying parody of "The Twilight Zone."

For the couples-costume brigade:
Who was that masked man? "The Mark of Zorro" has little-to-no gore, but it does have swords, smooching, and that all-important disguise. This remount comes fully vetted by enthusiastic critics and audiences, so lace up your corsets, and enjoy.

Those who like their romance with a smidge more dismemberment should take a risk on "Frankenstein in Love," a story about a stitched-together monster/South American revolutionary who only wants...well, you know. Will Act for Food's Gregory Gerhard directs from a little-known script by master horror novelist Clive Barker.

For people who just need a place to wear their Zombie Sarah Palin outfit:
Up north, Asuza Productions brings two creepy creators to the Lakeside Cultural Center for "A Horrifying Evening: Short Stories and Poems of H.P. Lovecraft and Edgar Allen Poe." The evening is simple, just actors and words. But the setting, a windswept manor overlooking the water, is true Chicago Gothic.

For a considerably more raucous evening, check out "A Sandra Bernhard Halloween." For one night only, the self-proclaimed diva brings herself, her opinions and her band (The Rebellious Jezebels) to the Steppenwolf stage. Audience members are "invited" to attend in costume, meaning if you lame out, La Bernhard will mock you.

For those who seriously want to be scared:
"Disturbed," Oracle Theatre's inverted haunted house, is 15 minutes of genuine destabilization. These guys don't just jump out at you from the corner, they screw with your mind. "Disturbed III," the latest incarnation of the only theatrical production to be positively reviewed by both Time Out Chicago and hauntedillinois.com, will trap its audience inside the mind of a twisted artist who works with surgical tools and (gulp) human flesh.

Spooks more your thing? Head to the long-running "Supernatural Chicago" at the Excalibur nightclub to get the rundown on all the local haunts (Friday night's performance will actually be a "Houdini Seance").

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Looking for more ways to celebrate the season? We've got you covered with scarily accurate info on:

Haunted Bars
Costume Shops
House Party Essentials
Candy Stores
Creepy Chicago Tours
Pumpkin Patches
Fall Food