Stocks and Blondes has nothing to do with stocks and little to do with blondes (unless you count the barely-dirty-blonde-and-more-like-brunette waitresses, which frankly we don't); it's also practically invisible under the Brown Line L, to the point of being harder to find than the Ark of the Covenant. But unlike said Ark, which looks pretty as hell (or so the first Indiana Jones movie would have us believe), Stocks is a 'Steve Buscemi' at best on a scale of 'James Carville' to 'Angelina Jolie.' Which is to say, it's fairly unattractive.

But looks can be deceiving.

Stocks may well be a hole-in-the-wall spot, with old, brown wood for walls, bar stools for chairs and dark and dank for atmosphere, but the food is actually delicious as the Dickens. Try, for example, the cleverly titled and oversize (if there is such a thing) All or None grilled rib-eye Caesar salad ($8.50). Then keep an eye out for even more cleverness, like the Capital Gains chicken wrap ($7.25), the S & P shrimp basket ($8.25), the Ikon crab cakes sandwich ($6.75) or the Short Cover quesadillas ($4.75-$7-75). Thankfully, you don't pay extra for wit; this truly tasty food is as low as $3 and never gets more expensive than $8.75. (Good cheap food in the Loop is hard to find, so cherish it.)

After you're done eating all you can eat, you're bound to say "Buh-wha-huh?" when you see the way out-of-place theater posters on the wall to your right, advertising plays like "Tuesdays with Morrie" and musicals like "Oliver!" (maybe the owner was a theatre major in his or her heyday). The "10 Reasons Why a Beer is Better than a Woman" poster in the men's bathroom, on the other hand, is much more appropriate, particularly the line: "A BEER won't get upset if you come home with BEER on your breath."

Indubitably!

Centerstage Reviewer: Benjamin Andrew Moore